Missing you, but Moving on
by Emmett all the way
Summary: Bella grew up as a valley girl in Arizona, while living with her dad. When there is a death in the family she goes to live with her mother in forks.How will things change when Bells has a new personality?
1. Giviving Up on Reality

**HELLO! I know I disappeared for some time. Sorry I was busy letting face book devour my time, a little of my motivation, and any ideas I might have had. I am back and ready to write :D**

**IF YOU HAVEVN'T SEEN ECLIPSE GO NOW! If you haven't seen Remember Me, rent first. Don't buy until you've seen it.**

Chapter one – Giving Up on Reality

"I know," I told my dad after he'd told me to finish up my room.

"I know you know. It's time to do it," he said with a nod while putting our cereal bowls in the sink. He looked serous, but his tone told me other wise.

"Yep, while you're at work," I confirmed putting the milk away.

"Love you, Hun, I'll be back for dinner." He smiled.

"Love you, too. Be safe," I told him as he grabbed his badge and keys.

As soon as the door shut, I locked it behind him. Summer days were the best and I love not having school. I headed upstairs, and when I got to my room I pressed play on my IPod. Fire Burning by Sean Kingston turned on.I blasted the volume and danced around my room as I cleaned. It took me a whole 30 minutes to clean my room.

Next was my bathroom. I must admit, it was getting pretty bad. A whole hour later, the bathroom looked better than ever. I had washed the counter, putting the hairspray, curler and flat iron away. The other parts of the bathroom called for just a bit of rest of the day was just kind of there for me to do what I wanted with it.

I went into my room and pulled out my black bikini, big pink beach towel, book, IPod and tanning oil. I set my IPod on my docking station outside, and set it to random. After oiling up, I laid my towel on my lounge chair, and settled down with my book. After a few minutes of trying to focus on the blurred word, the Arizona sun got to be too much for my eyes. I went inside to grab my sun glasses**. **Resuming my previous position, I read my book. It was scorching hot, but I was desert rat without a doubt.

Abandoning my belongings on my towel, I quickly dove into the pool. The water felt amazing against my skin. It was a perfect mix of cool, relaxing and refreshing.

You might be a little lost, so let me catch you up.

My parents split up when I was about four. My mom, Renee, chose to stay in Forks, Washington and my dad, Charlie, took me to live with him in Arizona. I visit my mom on every other break I have, and this year, Dad had summer and Mom had Christmas. I miss my mom every day that I'm away from her, but I really love everyone in Arizona. I recently promoted from the 8th grade and will be a freshman. I can't wait for the school year to start.

I could feel the heat on my face more than ever and knew I needed to go inside before I was burnt to a crisp. I grabbed everything and headed into the house. It took me a couple of minutes before my eyes adjusted. The kitchen had yellow walls, and was connected to a family room with two couches, a recliner, and a TV.

Down the hall there was a storage space under the stairs, and on the other wall there was the bathroom. The garage door was next to that. Around the corner was the stairs that led to a hallway full of doors with an open room at the end. First door was the tiny, little laundry room; the linen closet was next to that. The next door was my bathroom and on the left my bedroom. A few steps further down was the master bedroom, my Dad's room, with its own bathroom. At the end was a huge game room. It had a long leather couch and a huge TV on the wall.

Right about now, I bet you're wondering how we afforded this. So am I. Just kidding; my mother is a lawyer. When she decided to divorce my father, he got half, plus he had his income on top. Although, the Chief of Police doesn't get the income of a lawyer.

When I was showered and wearing a comfy pair of shorts with a t-shirt, I braided my hair. It went down to about mid-back. I settled in the game room, knowing my chores were done and decided that I'd flip through channels. As I passed the food channel I realized that I hadn't fixed dinner. Then I remembered that we had spaghetti 2 days ago so I knew we could always just have leftovers.

We had 50 channels total, (Dad and I had decided that we don't watch TV enough to get more) so I settled on starting on channel I got to channel five, the afternoon news was on. The flashing headline caught my eye and I set the remote down. "There was a recent shooting at the Wal-Mart on 99th and Harlot road. An officer on duty was wounded, but that is all we can say on the subject at this time,"** a** man at a shiny desk stated matter-of-factly. My Heart rate had quickened, and I was so nervous I could have puked.

My feet carried me without my permission, and almost without my knowledge. My hand was shaking as I grabbed the phone. I dialed the number I knew so well and waited for the answer, but got the voicemail: "Hi, you've reached the desk of Officer Charles Swan, Chief of Police, Phoenix, Arizona. I am sorry that I was unable to answer your call. Please leave a message with your name and number and I will return your call soon." I hung up the phone.

My chest felt heavy and tears were streaming down my face. Something told me that something was not right. At some point in time, my body shut down and I slumped to the ground. My breaths were becoming short and unsteady. I was unable to move for who knows how long, until the phone rang.

"Hello?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"Hi, is Isabella Swan there?" a sweet female voice asked.

"This is she," I responded.

"Isabella, this is Carly at Desert Hill Hospital. I'm sorry to tell you that your father is here. Right now he's doing fine, and will be able to have visitors in about half-an-hour."

"Thanks," I said, my voice raspy, then hung up the phone not wanting to hear more.

I slowly unfroze and called my best friend, Chelsea. Her mom was a stay-at-home mom and said she could take me to see my dad. I slipped my flip flops on, and went to wait outside. The heat seemed to help with dulling my senses. In no time, a blue minivan pulled up and I hopped in.

"Sorry; Chels wanted to see you, but I needed her to watch the kids," Mrs. Haffermen explained.

"No; that's alright, I understand. Thank you so much for the ride," I told her.

"It's no problem. And, heaven forbid, if you need to stay the night, you're more than welcome," she told me sweetly. I gave a weak nod, praying my dad would be able to come home tonight.

She dropped me off at the visitors' door, and wished me luck. The hospital was foreign to me, but I seemed to get around fine by reading the signs. I found one of the main desks and asked for directions. As it turned out, my father had been taken into the ICU: Intensive Care Unit. The cold air made me alert and focused, and I went where she instructed. As I sat down in the deserted waiting room everything started to soak in_. My father was in the ICU._

_One hour later_

Unwanted thoughts filled my head. Was my dad going to live? Can we go home? What happened? Was it Justin? Will we have to move? Is somebody going to make me go live with my mother?

"Breath," a distant voice instructed.

Somehow, I knew who was talking, but my brain was not making that connection. _My father would be okay. My father would be okay. My father would be okay. My father would be okay. My father would . . . ._

"Isabella Swan?" a man called.

"I'm right here," I choked out. As the man came closer, his face became clearer. He had dark, short hair and stubble on his face.

"Let's go to my office." He said leading the way to a more secluded area, and then into an office. His face was grim and my heart was sinking. Maybe dad would be here for a while.

"I'm sorry, Isabella, but there were some complications in your father's surgery, and he did not make it. I'm sorry for your loss. We have con. . ." His voice trailed off as I spiraled into numbness.

**Chapter 2 coming soon ;) let me know what you think.**


	2. Dealing

**Chapter two – Dealing**

"Shhh, you're going to wake her up!" a girl's voice whispered.

"She can sleep through anything," a deep, smooth voice whispered back.

Without even giving it a second thought, I knew that it was my friend Christina, and boyfriend John. Even though I knew that they where there I didn't know why, and I wasn't feeling in the mood to be awake. It was then that I remembered what had happened yesterday. A single tear rolled down my face. I quickly wiped it away and got up in a swift movement, heading straight for the bathroom.

"Be back in a sec," I rasped as I exited the room. When I entered the bathroom, I stopped for a second to collect myself. I took in the ocean blue wall and remembered painting it with Dad. It also reminded me of trying to find all the right dolphin decorations for the bathroom. After I had taken a few deep breaths, used the restroom, and brushed my teeth, I went back into my bedroom. I walked out and crossed paths with Christina.

"I'm gonna go grab you something to eat," she said while giving me a much-needed hug. I smiled and nodded as she walked away, her shoulder length blonde hair swaying behind her.

"Hey honey," John said engulfing me in a hug before I had a chance to take in his glowing appearance. He had a simple t-shirt on with a pair of dark jeans. His eyes where a baby blue that clashed, and blended well with his dark brown hair.

"Hi" I said, pulling away to look into his eyes. He leaned closer to me and gave me a, gentle comforting kiss. I leaned into him, just wanting to be held by him. I breathed in his sweet, honey scent.

"Entering," Christina said as she walked through the open door.

"What's going on?" I asked, finally getting over a bit of my shock and realizing that I had no clue how I had gotten home.

"Here, eat this and I'll tell you," she said as she handed me a ham and cheese breakfast pocket. "So, last night the doctor called your mother after you passed out from the shock. Your mom explained how she lived in forks and was divorced, and my mom at the same time was getting nervous. She ended up going in to see if she needed to help out." She chose this time to take a breath, and I realized how lucky I was to have her around. Christina had gotten distracted by a text, so John took over.

"Chelsea's mom decided you'd want to be here, so Chelsea spent the night. She had to go home to take over for her mom so she could go to work," he finished. 

Chelsea's father had passed away when she was 7. He had served for the military. She missed him every day, but when I talked to her about it she started a conversation about her church. She has twin brothers and a sister that are all younger. I had gone to her church before, and I knew all those people had been nice and understanding. It made me wonder even more how I was going to move on, and what was going to happen.

"Bella," John said in a voice that said I had zoned out.

"Um, sorry, yeah?"

"Your mom's plane gets in at about three," he told me.

"Okay, are you leaving?" I asked, unwilling to be alone.

"Well, Christina's mom is on her way because she has to go to Flagstaff to see her grandpa, and I know we aren't aloud here alone," he explained.

"You're staying," I told him, leaving him no other option.

"Okay, if it's what you want" he said with a small smile.

"Can I talk to Bella for a bit?" Christina asked John.

"Yeah, um, I'll just go downstairs," he said while walking out.

"Bella, are you going to be okay?" she asked. At that very moment, I couldn't help but break down into tears.

"I miss him so much already, and I know I'm going to have to move," I choked out in between sobs.

"So, I guess this is goodbye?" she said.

"Mhmm," was all I could manage.

"Bella, look at me, you are strong and amazing! You will pull through this. Charlie never liked to see you cry, so don't be sad, celebrate his life," she told me.

"Thanks," I said trying to catch my breath. "I really needed to hear that."

"I know, and I have to go now, and who knows when I'll see you again. No matter what happens, keep in touch," she told me as we started to walk down stairs.I gave her one last big hug before her mom honked the horn out front.

After a moment of regaining composure, I went to go find Josh. I walked into the kitchen to find him putting my plate in the sink. He was perfect, or so I thought. 

"Thanks," I said from behind him. He jumped at the sudden sound of my voice.

"Any time," he told me with a smile.

"I don't think we have much time," I said, thinking of my dad, and the first time he met Josh.

"Don't talk like that," he said.

"What?" I asked. "You mean, don't tell the truth?"

"You know what I meant," he scoffed.

"I know," I said. "But I miss him, and I'm going to miss you."

"You don't know how much I'll miss you." He grimaced.

He embraced me in a hug, and then led the way into the family room. We lay down on the longer of the two brown leather couches. I took one look at the recliner, _his_ recliner, and broke into tears.

"Shh, it's going to be alright," Josh said in an attempt to comfort me.

The tears rolled from my eyes, and I could do nothing to stop them. Charlie was my everything!

Why him?

Why me?

_One Hour Later_

"Hey," Josh whispered in my ear.

"What?" I asked, slightly grumpy.

"You fell asleep," he told me.

"I noticed," I commented sarcastically.

"No need to be-never mind. Your mom is going to be here in a half-hour," he explained calmly.

"Oh, right thanks," I said getting up. I could feel the tear tracks down my face.

"Do you want me to stay, or go?" he asked me softly.

"I bet you need, and want, to go home," I said, almost thinking aloud.

"I can stay. I would always stay for you," he said, his voice soothing me

"Your mom is going to get mad that you're not there yet," I explained in a knowing voice.

"She understands," he told me.

"And so do I," I huffed "You need to go home."

"I love you Bella," he said, looking me straight in the eye

"I love you, too," I said before I could stop myself. I am 14! How am I supposed to know who I love?

He leaned in and kissed me. His lips lingered longer than usual and met mine again only seconds later. My arms instinctually went to his hair and his to my lower back.

"You need to go," I said breathlessly.

"I'm on my way out," he said, not letting go of me. "Wait! I forgot something!"

Before I could register what he meant, we were kissing again. Our entwined bodies sank down to the couch as I thought about what Josh and I would never be. We won't see each other very often I'm not ready for the things he wants. There's no doubt in my mind that a long distance relationship can work. If your significant other isn't Josh.

After countless times of Josh saying 'I'm leaving now' and me saying 'goodbye' he left.

"I'll see you soon," I said, shutting the door, and sinking down to the floor. Tears spilled down my face.

My mind could do nothing but focus in on the negative. My father had 'passed away'. There was no doubt in my mind my boyfriend was leaving me 'cause I wasn't giving myself all to him. Might as well admit it, my life sucks! Then there was the knock on the door.

"Mom!" I exclaimed as I opened the door. "And, Stranger," I said hesitantly.

**_THANK YOU dark-lelu for my first and currently only review!_******

**_I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks :D_******


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